


Homesick

by LigerCat



Series: The Insanity Series [2]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Angst, Emotional Hurt, Fear, Gen, Guilt, Homelessness, Homesickness, I'm Bad At Summaries, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loss of Trust, Mild Language, Mutation, Platonic Cuddling, Self-Hatred, Sharing a Bed, These boys need a shit-ton of therapy that they'll never get, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 08:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19081615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LigerCat/pseuds/LigerCat
Summary: Ferb never saw himself as self-centered. But these days, he wasn't sure what to believe about himself.





	Homesick

The bed dipped next to me.

I opened my eyes slightly and quickly squeezed them shut once more. It had been three days, and the change in vision is still throwing me off. Everything was so bright. Even in the dim light of night.

Not bothering to open my eyes this time, I muttered. "What're you doing?

The bed shifted again. The single sheet covering me being tugged at. "I couldn't sleep."

A strange mix of warmth and coldness radiated from Phineas as he laid down next to me. I rolled onto my back, throwing an arm over my eyes and waited for him to elaborate.

"We're sleeping in beds."

Well, that explains everything. If my eyes were open, I'd be rolling them. Sleeping in bed was a good thing. It'd taken long enough to find ones I was willing to sleep in. Willing to let him sleep in.

"They're not our beds. And this isn't our room. And Perry's not laying next to me. And-"

"You're homesick." It made sense. I should have picked up on it sooner, but, admittedly, I hadn't been paying him that much attention lately. Too distracted by my own problems to try to deal with his. Had I always been this selfish? I didn't believe so. Everything was so fucked up now.

I pulled my arms from my eyes and looked over at him while forcing myself to ignore the shining, muted colours. "Does this help?"

"Yeah." His eyes were beginning to drift shut as he curled closer to me. His movements careful. One arm started to snake across my chest before he yank it back to him, and he moved both arms around himself in a self hug even as he tried to snuggle closer.

As much as I didn't, and couldn't, blame him, it still hurt. But that he trusted me enough to come in here after everything... I bit my lip. I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve his forgiveness.

Drops of blood dripped onto my mouth. Shit. I freed my lip from between my teeth, letting my tongue run along the cut even as it began to heal. No matter what I did, it would always heal. Why couldn't everything heal as easily as cuts?

I glanced at Phineas, wondering if it had caught his attention, but he had already fallen asleep.

Good. I had no wish to explain the thoughts running though my head or to dredge up what happened in that lab. Burying it might not be healthy, but none of this was. Talking about it wouldn't make things go back to normal. Nothing could make it, us, go back to normal. We couldn't go back, period.

The sooner we accepted that, the easier it would be.


End file.
